The garage gets cluttered. Garbage is thrown in but never out. Boxes pile up. Decorations never get fully put away. There are some items that get tossed that weren't supposed to and things that get saved that should have been shown the curb.
The beer pong table has become the sorting station. Everything first makes a stop over at the sorting station before it's decided whether it's saved or scraped. The beer pong table (flat board from Home Depot) rests atop my old kitchen table. The table gets shipped back and forth from my house to my parent's gift store. They use it when they have an Open House and need another table for food or displays.
My dad stopped by this morning to grab the table for an Open House this weekend and we began an impromptu garage cleaning because 1) it needed it and 2) my father is a neat freak and the garage's condition almost sent him to UPenn with a quadruple stroke. He had a broken table to take to my town dump and needed my face and ID to get past the front guard. We could drop my months of debris off as well.
Among the boxes and bags was a shiny gift bag that looked as if it had been sent to the garbage pile by mistake.
"This supposed to be thrown out?" my dad asked, handing me the bag without looking inside.
I opened it up to find wrapping paper, small empty boxes and the stick-ends of two incredibly vibrant, multicolored lollipops. Perplexed, I pulled one out for a closer examination.
It was in the shape of a very large penis and balls. The only thing to break my stare was my father's chuckle.
I wanted to explain they must have come from the wife's Bachelorette party but instead I kept quiet and threw the bag and it's naughty contents into a trash bin. I wasn't uncomfortable with the situation with my Dad, he has seen worse, but I wasn't sure what to tell the dump attendant should he ask to inspect any of our trash.
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Thursday, December 4, 2008
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7 comments:
How do you know the garbage didn't leave them for you?? ;)
Good question
deep blog this one!
Glad you liked it Rosso.
Chris , I gotta ask you a question. After doing a litle shopping today, I stopped by a local Chicken place and I ordered two cajun chicken sandwiches. We normally like this place. We ain't too picky at all. After all , we live in the south, the home of some great but not to clean barbecue joints. This place has always been clean before. I have worked in many drive by places myself. But as I pulled up to the window, I noticed the guy preparing the food take his cell from his pocket,while wearing gloves, take the call, then continue to make our sandwhiches, get it out and answer another call, put the damn phone back it his pocket, then finish to prepare our sammiches. I was pissed, but have been told to let it go. I dont want the germs from his cargo pants pockets, cell phone, and whoever might have picked it up giving me or my family the flu. What would you have done? ( we nuked the chicken sammiches and split a beer and a pint of ice cream, by the way, no harm done this time.) But I would ban cellphones from the kitchens if I owned a place. What do you think?
Tom
Sorry to put you on spot, I just wanted a very objective oppinion Chris. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannakuh, Blessed Eid, Happy Dewalli, Kwanazza, Wiccan mid winter soltice,or what ever you celebrate ( including nothing at all, if that is so your desire - but you will be missing out on a lot of fun). I am for sure forgeting some others around here. To each their own. I myself am unashamedly Christian with Jewish foreberarers and very glad of that indeed. I won't even mention divisions of catholic, protestant, or Greek or Russian orthodox around here. I will say may God bless you.(can you tell I live in "freak town" (asheville NC) Every damn one of these groups is sure they are there best. But we stick up for each others rights to make sure all have their say.
tom
Tom, I agree with you about both the cell phone issue and touching food. First, I hate the fact that cell phones have become the 'I must call you at any moment for stupid reasons' device. For example, there is a girl at my gym who talks on her cell phone during her ENTIRE workout. She does this every night. It's unnecessary and I hope one day she drops a weight on her foot for not paying attention. Then she will try and sue the gym and they can say 'well you were on your cell.' Like what was so important that fast food guy had to talk RIGHT THEN? Nothing.
The fast food cleanliness issue I've actually just learned to deal with. Like, if I am hitting Taco Bell, I know the people that work there and I know they aren't 100% clean, 100% of the time. So I just accept it. Also, I don't think we can't blame just fast food, I'd imagine it happens even in the nicest restaurants.
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