Michael Phelps is going to be on television for at least the next week in nothing more than a banana hammock with shoulder straps. He will try for Olympic history and more gold than Flavor Flav's front teeth.
The media is trying their hardest to make him a sex symbol and modern day Mark Spitz.
If only he didn't look like the end result of former NBA player Gheorghe Muresan and Mrs. Potato Head doing the dirty. Sure he is in great shape but you could show his abs on a 24-hour loop on MSNBC and it doesn't change the fact he looks like he forgot to put his hands out just before the finish line at least a half dozen times.
Although judging by this picture Phelps might also be attempting to take the gold in the javelin. That thing has to slow him down right? Does it get it's own swim cap?
This is further proof that if their is a creator he has a fantastic sense of humor. He blesses a human with the talent of swimming like a marlin with a firecracker up his ass and the looks of the ass itself. And he gives him a huge hammer.
For every gift there is a curse. In life, everything balances out.
Which is why I am decent writer that can also stand eye to eye with any munchkin in Oz.
22 comments:
Are you gay? or just jealous? Get a freakin' life.
Wow, neither. If only you used a real name I could thank you for reading and the diagnosis attempt.
This is the worst thing I have ever read. And you have too many "I"s in your name. And this blog design makes me want to puke. Oh, and you should have never been born.
--Anonymous
Uproarious. This blog is freakin' hysterical, and this piece on Phelps had me down right falling off my chair.
Lighten up, people, Illuminati ripped himself at the end of the piece...he's calling a spade a spade.
Anyone ever watch SNL? Humor is good for the soul... pull it together, people.
Whatev! Mr. Too Many "I"s dude probably makes Mini Me look like Andre the Giant. Oh, and speaking of, not everyone is in disagreement with you:
http://superfantasticplastic.blogspot.com/2008/08/linkin-continental.html
So Bobby Mags can STFU and GTFO!
--Anonymous
PS: ::Grin:: SNL steals their jokes from ME! Well, they did before they started sucking.
Wow, I'm so nice I can't even joke without a PS disclaimer! I need to toughen up. See ya later, I've gotta go eat some kittens now.
I don't know what to say, other than...
Will you marry me?
I think that's the first time anyone has ever asked me that.
Wait, I'm going to feel like a real ass if you were talking to 1:55! I'd understand, though. 1:55 sounds like a hot bitch.
Wow - this has got to be the awesomest comment thread ev-ah! And here I was, just going to comment about "does it get its own swim cap" made me giggle because i am apparently 12. But instead I get a whole show! Love it.
And for the record, I find Phelps mega hott. As i do subtle sarcasm.
Wow, now all I need is Maria and I will have a comment from all 4 people that read my blog. This is a big day!!!
Charlotte, I find YOU mega-hot! I was reading some of your Huffington stuff...you know my future hubby John Cusack writes stuff on there sometimes. :) Hooray for smart, witty girls! They're SO hard to find. At least around these parts.
I really thought the Italian guys were the best looking swimmers!
We might have to ask the peanut gallery on that one. Ladies? Thoughts?
You think I watched any of this past the opening show with the cool dudes playing the drums? No thank you! Let me know when it's Tennis Day.
THANK YOU! Someone else agrees with me. He looks like Andre the Giant.
I'm getting attacked on Ayyyy! for calling him the butterface he is.
Stick up for yourself!!!
And what the hell is Ayyyy!
I'm tryin', bruthah!
Ayyyy! is, appearently, this awful little dictatorship founded by Manolo of Manolo's Shoe Blog, where no one can have an opinion about someone if it doesn't jive with "The Secret".
Hell, they should be thanking me! They're getting more comments and traffic outta this little catfight than I've ever seen them get before.
http://ayyyy.com/2008/08/12/its-what-america-is-really-about/#comments
Seriously, they're acting as if it's my fault Phelps is a double-bagger (one for him and one for you).
Controversy is great for traffic. Theirs and yours. So just keep going for it.
And honestly if he wasn't an Olympic swimmer would anyone even think twice about him? If he was the guy in Accounting would anyone care expect to say 'man that taller fucker eats alot.'
I totally agree.
Oh well, I'm not letting the Internet attacks get to me. Why should I? So what if people don't like me? I've got a lot of other stuff going for me. I'm an all around nice guy and I'm hung like a circus pony, so I can't complain.
Duuude, women read this thing too! I don't want to know that!
Yes, women don't want to know you are getting in fights on the Internet. She wants to know more about your package though.
Well, it does have it's own swim cap, but it's not going to be winning any speed races. LOL
Phelps is so totally hot. I dream about him all the time. He is a doll and this photo is so sexy. Thanks for posting this beautiful man on your blog.
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